Review
With moving stories, personal reflections, and keen insight, this book provides practical tips for facing the challenges that our essential friendships face. Marla Paul takes on the 'hard ones': time deprivation, kids, divorce, job mobility, and lack of explicit valuing of these precious personal resources. Most importantly, she assures us we are not alone in our longing for connection, and she engenders warm and comforting hope that we can build and rebuild the relationships that are necessary for our well-being. This book is a gift of hope, an affirmation of our lifelong path of drawing closer to others.


Book Description
When Marla Paul returned to a Chicago suburb after a 5-year stint in Dallas, she found herself without the true core of friends she once had there or the close circle of pals she enjoyed while in Dallas. Bewildered and frustrated at how hard it was to make new friends, Paul felt like the only one not invited to the party.

So she wrote about her experience one Sunday in the Chicago Tribune, and later in Ladies' Home Journal. But she was embarrassed. She thought she was the only one having a hard time. Was Paul alone? Hardly. The response was overwhelming.

Women across the country began contacting Paul with sentiments and experiences echoing her own. Using feedback from hundreds of women, as well as interviews with top friendship experts, she began writing a regular column on women's friendships for the Chicago Tribune, casting light on this previously silent problem of epic proportions.

Now, she brings her culled wisdom to women everywhere, proving to them that they are in friendly company. Focusing on major life events that can crack and even shear a friendship-- having (or not having) children, becoming divorced or widowed, moving, leaving the office to stay home-- Paul charts a path to find new friends and community. Other chapters include finessing the inevitable challenges to friendship, like conflict, jealousy, and feeling neglected; creating a neighborhood community; finding Internet pals; and closing the generation gap on friendship. She also explores the behaviors that wreck a friendship and the ones that strengthen it.

With creative and solid tried-and-true tips for finding, making, and keeping friends, Paul shows us that laughter and friendship needn't end just because we aren't kids anymore.



From the Inside Flap
The Friendship Crisis
Finding, Making, And Keeping Friends When You're Not A Kid Anymore

When Marla Paul returned to a Chicago suburb after a 5-year stint in Dallas, she found herself without the true core of friends she once had there or the close circle of pals she enjoyed while in Dallas. Bewildered and frustrated at how hard it was to make new friends, Paul felt like the only one not invited to the party.

So she wrote about her experience one Sunday in the Chicago Tribune, and later in Ladies' Home Journal. But she was embarrassed. She thought she was the only one having a hard time. Was Paul alone? Hardly. The response was overwhelming.

Women across the country began contacting Paul with sentiments and experiences echoing her own. Using feedback from hundreds of women, as well as interviews with top friendship experts, she began writing a regular column on women's friendships for the Chicago Tribune, casting light on this previously silent problem of epic proportions.

Now, she brings her culled wisdom to women everywhere, proving to them that they are in friendly company. Focusing on major life events that can crack and even shear a friendship-- having (or not having) children, becoming divorced or widowed, moving, leaving the office to stay home-- Paul charts a path to find new friends and community. Other chapters include finessing the inevitable challenges to friendship, like conflict, jealousy, and feeling neglected; creating a neighborhood community; finding Internet pals; and closing the generation gap on friendship. She also explores the behaviors that wreck a friendship and the ones that strengthen it.

With creative and solid tried-and-true tips for finding, making, and keeping friends, Paul shows us that laughter and friendship needn't end just because we aren't kids anymore.

Marla Paul writes a column on women's friendships for a nationally syndicated section of the Chicago Tribune. She is a journalist whose essays and features on friendship and parenting have been published in such national magazines as Ladies' Home Journal, Health, Parents, and Family Circle. She lives in the Chicago area with her husband and daughter. Contact her via her Web site at www.marlapaul.com.



From the Back Cover
"My best friend lives 2,000 miles away, but she is close to my heart at all times. Marla Paul's wonderful book on women's friendship helped me to understand why my friend is so important to me, and how to keep our bond fresh through the ups and downs of adult life. I recommend this book to everyone who wants, needs, or dreams about having a true friend for life." --Carol Evans, CEO of Working Mother Media and mother of two

"Marla Paul takes a shrewd look at women in contemporary society and highlights the challenges of loneliness and the many routes from isolation into friendship. In this wise and warm book, she gently reminds us of the dangers of being without a friend and invites us to make those necessary moves towards connection with other women."--Terri Apter, Ph.D., coauthor of Best Friends: The Pleasures and Perils of Girls' and Women's Friendships

"Women know that friends matter deeply, although friendship doesn't always come easily or go well. Thanks to Marla Paul for her wise and helpful book on this much neglected subject!" --Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger

"With terrific insight and sensitivity, Marla Paul articulates what is so often felt but rarely explored: the various ways friendships tear and repair the human heart. Just as dear friends help us make sense of life, this book deepens our understanding of a relationship that so many of us cherish in theory but neglect in fact. Read it and pass it on."--Lauren Cowen, author of Girlfriends

"With moving stories, personal reflections, and keen insight, this book provides practical tips for facing the challenges that our essential friendships face. Marla Paul takes on the 'hard ones': time deprivation, kids, divorce, job mobility, and lack of explicit valuing of these precious personal resources. Most importantly, she assures us we are not alone in our longing for connection, and she engenders warm and comforting hope that we can build and rebuild the relationships that are necessary for our well-being. This book is a gift of hope, an affirmation of our lifelong path of drawing closer to others."--Judith V. Jordan, Ph.D., coauthor of Women's Growth in Connection and assistant clinical professor of psychology at Harvard University



About the Author
Marla Paul writes a column on women's friendships for a nationally syndicated section of the Chicago Tribune. She is a journalist whose essays and features on friendship and parenting have been published in such national magazines as Ladies' Home Journal, Health, Parents, and Family Circle. She lives in the Chicago area with her husband and daughter.

FROM THE PUBLISHER

When Marla Paul returned to a Chicago suburb after a 5-year stint in Dallas, she found herself without the true core of friends she once had there or the close circle of pals she enjoyed while in Dallas. Bewildered and frustrated at how hard it was to make new friends, Paul felt like the only one not invited to the party.

So she wrote about her experience one Sunday in the Chicago Tribune, and later in Ladies' Home Journal. But she was embarrassed. She thought she was the only one having a hard time. Was Paul alone? Hardly. The response was overwhelming.

Women across the country began contacting Paul with sentiments and experiences echoing her own. Using feedback from hundreds of women, as well as interviews with top friendship experts, she began writing a regular column on women's friendships for the Chicago Tribune, casting light on this previously silent problem of epic proportions.

Now, she brings her culled wisdom to women everywhere, proving to them that they are in friendly company. Focusing on major life events that can crack and even shear a friendship--having (or not having) children, becoming divorced or widowed, moving, leaving the office to stay home--Paul charts a path to find new friends and community. Other chapters include finessing the inevitable challenges to friendship, like conflict, jealousy, and feeling neglected; creating a neighborhood community; finding Internet pals; and closing the generation gap on friendship. She also explores the behaviors that wreck a friendship and the ones that strengthen it.

With creative and solid tried-and-true tips for finding, making, and keeping friends, Paul shows us thatlaughter and friendship needn't end just because we aren't kids anymore.

FROM THE CRITICS

Library Journal