From Publishers Weekly
"Every day is like Thanksgiving Day on the North Beach Diet," proclaims Bailey's enthusiastic introduction. But readers well-trained in (but sick of) calorie counting and carb cutting may wonder how that's possible. Well, it's pretty easy, actually, since the point of the North Beach Diet is to become as fat and lazy as possible. (It's for those who "dream about what it would be like to be ogled admiringly by people as you sashay down the beach with a giant-size bag of Nutter-Butters in one hand and a large Frosty in another.") Sample advice: plan meals in advance to make sure you're getting the most calories you can, curtail your exercise program and carry high-fat snacks with you wherever you go. Recipes include Medicinal Chocolate Cake with Vanilla Butter Cream Icing; Batter Fried Twinkies; and Pulled Pork Butt So Good, You'll Want to Kick Yourself. As far as humor writing goes, this volume is a one-trick-pony; on the other hand, some of the recipes are pretty scrumptious, and no one will ever be able to argue that this diet, if followed correctly, doesn't live up to its fat-making promises. (Jan.) Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Book Description

Atkins, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Low Fat, or the ever-present South Beach all promise the same things-starvation, deprivation, self-denial, unhappiness, irritation, and most importantly, failure as you seek the elusive and unattainable emaciation of Hollywood stars. Why go that tragic route when now you CAN have it all-doughnuts, milkshakes, double meat and cheese burgers, and best of all deep fried snickers bars on the brand new North Beach Diet? Author Kim Bailey, the poster child of this groundbreaking new food plan, says it best... "I gained 145 pounds, became emotionally insulated, and allowed food to control every aspect of my lifenow you can too!"

This parody of the ubiquitous South Beach Diet celebrates the joys of sugar, butter, and all things carbohydrate. This high-fat, high-salt, real sugar movement is the perfect backlash to the overwhelming barrage of diet plans that dominate bookstore shelves and bedside tables. It is filled with helpful tips, including . . .Slower is always betterAlways use food as an emotional outletStressed spelled backwards is desserts

Exercise is all virtual in this innovative "Body-By-Cake" program with routines such as: Pie-laties, NordicSnack, and Cap'n Crunches.

The "Robust Gourmet" section of the book is one of its best features with over 60 high calorie recipes made with lots of real butter, refined sugar, white flour, and chocolate. You'll be entertained by a few of these like the Battered Fried Twinkies, Biscuits and Chocolate Gravy, and the 7-Layer Nabisco English Trifle, and delighted by most, as you enjoy the sumptuous comfort-food offerings of Cognac Braised Short-Ribs, Buttermilk Vidalia Onion Rings, and Sweet Potato Pie.

FROM THE PUBLISHER

While going on a fried clam tour of Maine, a friend commented to the author Kim Bailey that he was on the North Beach Diet instead of the South Beach Diet - a book, and a new movement - was born.

This high-fat, high-salt, real sugar movement is the perfect backlash to the overwhelming barrage of diet plans that dominate bookstore shelves and bedside tables. Filled with helpful tips, "Slower is always better." "Always use food as an emotional outlet," and especially "Stressed spelled backwards is desserts," the North Beach Diet finally provides the alternative so many of us are seeking. Other helpful features include "Top 10 Las Vegas Buffets", "Famous Celebrity Weight Gain Failures," and "Smart Tips to Maximize Fast Food Enjoyment." As in all diet books, there is an exercise section, featuring "pie-lates," "Nordic-snack," and a complete virtual exercise program designed around selected DVDs (Chariots of Fire, Rocky I and II, etc.) and the appropriate snacks to eat while watching.

The "Robust Gourmet" section of the book is possibly its best feature including such desserts as "Battered Fried Twinkies," "7-Layer Nabisco English Trifle," and "Sweet Potato Pie."

SYNOPSIS

This parody of the ubiquitous South Beach Diet that celebrates the joys of sugar, butter, and all things carbohydrate. Atkins, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Low Fat, or the ever-present South Beach all promise the same things-starvation, deprivation, self-denial, unhappiness, irritation, and most importantly, failure as you seek the elusive and unattainable emaciation of Hollywood stars.  Why go that tragic route when now you CAN have it all-doughnuts, milkshakes, double meat and cheese burgers, and best of all deep fried snickers bars on the brand new North Beach Diet?  Author Kim Bailey, the poster child of this groundbreaking new food plan, says it best...  "I gained 145 pounds, became emotionally insulated, and allowed food to control every aspect of my life...now you can too!"

This parody of the ubiquitous South Beach Diet celebrates the joys of sugar, butter, and all things carbohydrate. This high-fat, high-salt, real sugar movement is the perfect backlash to the overwhelming barrage of diet plans that dominate bookstore shelves and bedside tables. It is filled with helpful tips, including . . .* Slower is always better* Always use food as an emotional outlet* Stressed spelled backwards is desserts

Exercise is all virtual in this innovative "Body-By-Cake" program with routines such as: Pie-laties, NordicSnack, and Cap'n Crunches. 

The "Robust Gourmet" section of the book is one of its best features with over 60 high calorie recipes made with lots of real butter, refined sugar, white flour, and chocolate.  You'll be entertained by a few of these like the Battered Fried Twinkies, Biscuits and Chocolate Gravy, and the 7-Layer Nabisco English Trifle, and delighted by most, as you enjoy the sumptuous comfort-food offerings of Cognac Braised Short-Ribs, Buttermilk Vidalia Onion Rings, and Sweet Potato Pie.

FROM THE CRITICS

Publishers Weekly

"Every day is like Thanksgiving Day on the North Beach Diet," proclaims Bailey's enthusiastic introduction. But readers well-trained in (but sick of) calorie counting and carb cutting may wonder how that's possible. Well, it's pretty easy, actually, since the point of the North Beach Diet is to become as fat and lazy as possible. (It's for those who "dream about what it would be like to be ogled admiringly by people as you sashay down the beach with a giant-size bag of Nutter-Butters in one hand and a large Frosty in another.") Sample advice: plan meals in advance to make sure you're getting the most calories you can, curtail your exercise program and carry high-fat snacks with you wherever you go. Recipes include Medicinal Chocolate Cake with Vanilla Butter Cream Icing; Batter Fried Twinkies; and Pulled Pork Butt So Good, You'll Want to Kick Yourself. As far as humor writing goes, this volume is a one-trick-pony; on the other hand, some of the recipes are pretty scrumptious, and no one will ever be able to argue that this diet, if followed correctly, doesn't live up to its fat-making promises. (Jan.) Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.

Library Journal

If all the above makes you long for a potato chip and mayonnaise sandwich, you'll find the recipe here! This spoof of The South Beach Diet is a total hoot.Susan Hagloch, now retired director of the Tuscarawas County Public Library in New Philadelphia, OH, is a longtime reviewer for LJ. Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.

ACCREDITATION