The Book Reader
A startling and persuasive new take on the new age by a Twelve Step enthusiast. With a compelling writing style that doesn't just dance around the subject. . . He works with wounded souls in his private practice, repairing dysfunctional attitudes about human perfection. And his message is clear. We are not just human creatures stumbling around finding ways to earn and justify a spiritual nature. Just the opposite. We are Spiritual beings having a human experience. And Burney drills home his zealous message. "We are not being punished." He examines organized religions, scientific principles, the scourge of aids, other human conditions. And concludes that it's time we healed, purged punishment, found our spiritual purpose, enjoyed life. He also confronts some of the new age channelers and psychics who shake fingers at those who fall to common human frailty. Readers will find a penetrating synthesis of Twelve Step Recovery, contemporary and ancient principles in his Cosmic Perspective. Burney's comments are innovative and inspiring, and may just be the answer for so many seeking spiritual guidance. They ring of honesty, and they will cause many to ponder.


Magical Blend Magazine online August 97
"This book is an affirmation of your true nature: love. I gratefully recommend it." -


Whole Life Times - September 97
"Each page is filled with eye-opening advice and instructions on ending the codependency cycle that plagues most American families." -


Concepts Magazine - April 96
". . . a book that shines a brilliant new light on this human dance we are all doing. . . . This book is full of love and joy and I recommend it. . . to anyone and everyone." - (New Thought Magazine - Summer 96) "There is much joy expressed in this book. We are given an opportunity to change the dance from one of suffering and endurance to one of celebration and appreciation. Robert's words will move and inspire you" -


Jimmy Langkop, Dallas Texas, Speaker & Spiritual Teacher - August 96
"You have taken inner child healing to a new level. In your brilliantly written book you explain the missing pieces of the puzzle in a way that is amazingly simple and understandable. " -


Carole Scarfuto Executive Director, NAPRA, New Age Publishing & Retailing Alliance - March 96
"I have been one of the lucky people to read your sensational book! . . . This book is truly a masterpiece. . . Wouldn't it be great if every living being on the planet read this book? Global transformation!" -


Book Description
This joyously inspirational Spiritual book presents a set of beliefs about the meaning and purpose of life from a Cosmic Perspective that combines Twelve Step Recovery Principles with Ancient Metaphysical Truths. It explains why a New Age has dawned in human consciousness on planet Earth and explores the interrelationship between subjects that range from the Bible, Buddha, and Jesus to quantum physics, molecular biology, and AIDS. The belief system the book is based upon is exemplified by this quote from The Dance of Wounded Souls: "We are not sinful, shameful human creatures who have to somehow earn Spirituality. We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience. We are here to experience and learn, to Touch and to feel." The author, a therapist who specializes in codependence/inner child healing, not only explains the big picture of how we are all ONE, part of one Cosmic energy interaction that is unfolding perfectly, he also offers insights into how the individual being can lovingly change their relationship with self and life in order to transform their human experience into a much more enjoyable adventure. This is a life-changing, life-affirming book.


From the Publisher
We feel that this is one of the most important books of our time. No one has ever explained the human dilemma as clearly and simply as The Dance of Wounded Souls. Many books are out which speak to the psychological condition that has come to be called codependence - this book is about the Spiritual wound that caused the psychological condition. It's purpose is to remind old souls of who they are, and why they are here in human body on this planet at this time. All old souls are now doing accelerated Karmic settlement in this New Age. Our mission to integrate Spirituality into our interactions. It is easy to feel Spiritual in relationship with nature. It is relating to other humans that is messy. That is because we learned how to do life and relationships in childhood. Through healing our childhood wounds we can learn to connect Spiritually and also, in the process, heal the planet. It is possible to feel the feelings without being the victim of them, or victimizing others with them. It is possible to change the way we think so that our mind is no longer our worst enemy. It is possible to become empowered to have choices in life at the same time we are letting go of trying to control life. Life can be an exciting, enjoyable adventure when we wake up to Spiritual Truth and integrate it into our day to day life so that we can stop reacting out of our childhood emotional wounds and dysfunctional attitudes!


From the Author
(From Authors Foreword to the book) When I first came into contact with the word "Codependent" over a decade ago, I did not think that the word had anything to do with me personally. At that time I heard the word used only in reference to someone who was involved with an Alcoholic - and since I was a Recovering Alcoholic, I obviously could not be Codependent. I paid only slightly more attention to the Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome, not because it applied to me personally - I was not from an Alcoholic family - but because many people whom I knew obviously fit the symptoms of that syndrome. It never occurred to me to wonder if the Adult Child Syndrome and Codependence were related. As my Recovery from Alcoholism progressed, however, I began to realize that just being clean and sober was not enough. I started to look for some other answers. By that time the conception of the Adult Child Syndrome had expanded beyond just pertaining to Alcoholic families. I started to realize that, although my family of origin had not been Alcoholic, it had indeed been dysfunctional. I had gone to work in the Alcoholism Recovery field by this time and was confronted daily with the symptoms of Codependence and Adult Child Syndrome. I recognized that the definition of Codependence was also expanding. As I continued my personal Recovery, and continued to be involved in helping others with their Recovery, I was constantly looking for new information. In reading the latest books and attending workshops, I could see a pattern emerging in the expansion of the terms "Codependent" and "Adult Child." I realized that these terms were describing the same phenomenon. I was troubled, however, by the fact that every book I read, and every expert with whom I came into contact defined "Codependence" differently. I began to try to discover, for my own personal benefit, one all-encompassing definition. This search led me to examine the phenomenon in an increasingly larger context. I began to look at the dysfunctional nature of society, and then expanded farther into looking at other societies. And finally to the human condition itself. The result of that examination is this book: Codependence / The Dance of Wounded Souls, A Cosmic Perspective on Codependence and the Human Condition. This book is based upon a talk that I have been giving for the last few years. I have edited and reorganized, expanded, added, and clarified information in adapting the talk to book form, but there is still the flavor and style of a talk throughout much of this book. I have not attempted to change this for several reasons, the main reason being that it works in conveying the multi-leveled message that I wish to communicate. One of the reasons for the human dilemma, for the confusion that humans have felt about the meaning and purpose of life, is that more than one level of reality comes into play in the experience of being human. Trying to apply the Truth of one level to the experience of another has caused humans to become very confused and twisted in our perspective of the human experience. It is kind of like the difference between playing the one-dimensional chess that we are familiar with, and the three-dimensional chess played by the characters of Star Trek - they are two completely different games. That is the human dilemma - we have been playing the game with the wrong set of rules. With rules that do not work. With rules that are dysfunctional. I was terrified beyond description the first time I gave this talk in June of 1991. It seemed as if emotional memories of what it felt like to be stoned to death by an angry mob were assaulting my being. I went ahead with it anyway, because it is what I needed to do for myself. I needed to stand up in public and own my Truth. I needed to own the Truth that I had come to believe in, the Truth that worked for me to allow me to find some happiness, peace, and Joy in my life. I found that other people found Joy and peace in my message also. So now I share this message with you, the reader of this book, in the hopes that it will help you to remember the Truth of who you are, and why you are here. This information is not meant to be absolute or the final word - it is meant as an alternative perspective for you to consider. A Cosmic Perspective that just might help to make life an easier, more enjoyable experience for you.


About the Author
Robert Burney is a Santa Barbara, California therapist whose work has been compared favorably to the work of John Bradshaw "except much more spiritual" and described as "taking inner child healing to a new level." He has developed innovative, powerful, life-changing techniques for inner child healing and integration. Robert, whose work is based upon Twelve Step Recovery Principles, specializes in teaching individuals how to become empowered by having internal boundaries so they can learn to relax and enjoy life while they are healing.


Excerpted from Codependence : The Dance of Wounded Souls : A Cosmic Perspective of Codependence and the Human Condition by Robert Burney. Copyright © 0. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved
(From Chapter One) The expanded usage of the term "Codependent" now includes counterdependent behavior. We have come to understand that both the passive and the aggressive behavioral defense systems are reactions to the same kinds of childhood trauma, to the same kinds of emotional wounds. The Family Systems Dynamics research shows that within the family system, children adopt certain roles according to their family dynamics. Some of these roles are more passive, some are more aggressive, because in the competition for attention and validation within a family system the children must adopt different types of behaviors in order to feel like an individual. A large part of what we identify as our personality is in fact a distorted view of who we really are due to the type of behavioral defenses we adopted to fit the role or roles we were forced to assume according to the dynamics of our family system. I am now going to share with you some new descriptions that I came up with in regard to these behavioral defenses. We adopt different degrees and combinations of these various types of behavior as our personal defense system, and we swing from one extreme to the other within our own personal spectrum. I am going to share these with you because I find them enlightening and amusing - and to make a point. The Aggressive-Aggressive defense, is what I call the "militant bulldozer." This person, basically the counterdependent, is the one whose attitude is "I don't care what anyone thinks." This is someone who will run you down and then tell you that you deserved it. This is the "survival of the fittest," hard-driving capitalist, self-righteous religious fanatic, who feels superior to most everyone else in the world. This type of person despises the human "weakness" in others because he/she is so terrified and ashamed of her/his own humanity. The Aggressive-Passive person, or "self-sacrificing bulldozer," will run you down and then tell you that they did it for your own good and that it hurt them more than it did you. These are the types of people who aggressively try to control you "for your own good" - because they think that they know what is "right" and what you "should" do and they feel obligated to inform you. This person is constantly setting him/herself up to be the perpetrator because other people do not do things the "right" way, that is, his/her way. The Passive-Aggressive, or "militant martyr," is the person who smiles sweetly while cutting you to pieces emotionally with her/his innocent sounding, double-edged sword of a tongue. These people try to control you "for your own good" but do it in more covert, passive-aggressive ways. They "only want the best for you," and sabotage you every chance they get. They see themselves as wonderful people who are continually and unfairly being victimized by ungrateful loved ones - and this victimization is their main topic of conversation/focus in life because they are so self-absorbed that they are almost incapable of hearing what other people are saying. The Passive-Passive, or "self-sacrificing martyr," is the person who spends so much time and energy demeaning him/herself, and projecting the image that he/she is emotionally fragile, that anyone who even thinks of getting mad at this person feels guilty. They have incredibly accurate, long-range, stealth guilt torpedoes that are effective even long after their death. Guilt is to the self-sacrificing martyr what stink is to a skunk: the primary defense. These are all defense systems adopted out of a necessity to survive. They are all defensive disguises whose purpose is to protect the wounded, terrified child within. These are broad general categories, and individually we can combine various degrees and combinations of these types of behavioral defenses in order to protect ourselves. In this society, in a general sense, the men have been traditionally taught to be primarily aggressive, the "John Wayne" syndrome, while women have been taught to be self-sacrificing and passive. But that is a generalization; it is entirely possible that you came from a home where your mother was John Wayne and your father was the self-sacrificing martyr. The point that I am making is that our understanding of Codependence has evolved to realizing that this is not just about some dysfunctional families - our very role models, our prototypes, are dysfunctional. Our traditional cultural concepts of what a man is, of what a woman is, are twisted, distorted, almost comically bloated stereotypes of what masculine and feminine really are. A vital part of this healing process is finding some balance in our relationship with the masculine and feminine energy within us, and achieving some balance in our relationships with the masculine and feminine energy all around us. We cannot do that if we have twisted, distorted beliefs about the nature of masculine and feminine. When the role model of what a man is does not allow a man to cry or express fear; when the role model for what a woman is does not allow a woman to be angry or aggressive - that is emotional dishonesty. When the standards of a society deny the full range of the emotional spectrum and label certain emotions as negative - that is not only emotionally dishonest, it creates emotional disease. If a culture is based on emotional dishonesty, with role models that are dishonest emotionally, then that culture is also emotionally dysfunctional, because the people of that society are set up to be emotionally dishonest and dysfunctional in getting their emotional needs met. What we traditionally have called normal parenting in this society is abusive because it is emotionally dishonest. Children learn who they are as emotional beings from the role modeling of their parents. "Do as I say - not as I do," does not work with children. Emotionally dishonest parents cannot be emotionally healthy role models, and cannot provide healthy parenting. Our model for what a family should be sets up abusive, emotionally dishonest dynamics.