From Publishers Weekly
In an age when the idyllic notion of everlasting love has been battered against the rocks of infidelity and divorce, ever-popular Christian counselor and writer Smalley (The Language of Love) offers his own tried and true methods for making love last forever. According to Smalley, the foundation of lasting love is falling in love with life itself. In the first section of the book, he explores principles for resolving anger, balancing expectations and reality and avoiding hurt. Using anecdotes from his counseling sessions and stories from his own marriage, Smalley fashions, in the second section of the book, a set of "forever-love" principles designed to help married couples improve their relationships. Some of the principles Smalley includes as essential ingredients for lasting love are better communication, understanding a spouse's personality type and using conflict to foster intimacy. Each chapter closes with a set of "forever-love" principles drawn from the topic of the chapter. In the end, however, Smalley's principles are not helpful because they are founded upon, and promote, conventional stereotypes of men as rational and aggressive and women as intuitive and passive. Unfortunately, only couples who accept these stereotypical gender roles are likely to benefit from his principles. Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.


From Booklist
After only a few chapters, it is obvious why Christian marriage counselor Smalley has sold more than 12 million copies of his videos and previous books. His presentation is highly organized, so that he can summarize each chapter in so many numbered points. He speaks plainly and inculcates his lessons with anecdotes from his clinical practice and his own life that workaday Americans, especially if they are in business and the professions, find easy to identify with and which Smalley weaves cunningly together so that some stories are told all at once, while others are parceled out to create narrative suspense and make the book compelling. Details and metaphors are the stuff of the popular culture: country singers, TV shows, and computer and VCR analogies. The authorities Smalley cites come from the best-seller lists: M. Scott Peck, Stephen R. Covey, John Gray, and Deborah Tannen, among others; not until well into the book are the Bible and Evangelical Christian resources invoked. It helps that the bedrock advice here--to assume personal responsibility for one's life and to love life itself as prerequisites to realizing a happy, permanent marriage--is just that, bedrock, for the modern counseling establishment. Smalley does what he does awfully well, making this the book for staunch Christian couples and an approachable one for enough others to justify Word's confident quarter-million-copy first printing and a 30-city author tour. Ray Olson


Book Description

For years Gary Smalley has helped millions of couples throughout North America enrich their relationships and deepen their bonds of love and companionship. In this extraordinary book, he shows you how to stay in love through all the stages of life. From first attraction to lifelong commitment, Gary's proven techniques and practical advice show you how to pursue and keep the love you want, and how to energize your relationship with enduring, passion-filled love.

In this book you'll learn how to: Understand and use love's best-kept secret Deal with the number one enemy of loveTurn headaches into more loveIncrease your energy to keep lovingFind the power to keep on loving your spouseUse normal conflicts as doorways to intimacy Read a woman's built-in marriage manual twelve waysDivorce-proof your marriage Develop the five vital signs of a healthy marriageRespond to your partner's number one requestFind the powerful secret to great loveBring out the best in your maddening mate

With humor, empathy, and insight, Gary Smalley inspires you to fall in love with life and enjoy the deep satisfaction of a lifelong love. Down-to-earth examples, touching personal experiences, and inspiring spiritual principles will motivate you to bring about positive changes in your marriage-whether or not your mate is a willing participant. You'll learn how to tap resources at hand to help you follow through with your journey-and make your love last forever.

FROM THE PUBLISHER

For years Gary Smalley has helped millions of couples throughout North America enrich their relationships and deepen their bonds of love and companionship. In this extraordinary book, he shows you how to stay in love through all the stages of life. From first attraction to lifelong commitment, Gary's proven techniques and practical advice show you how to pursue and keep the love you want, and how to energize your relationship with enduring, passion-filled love.

In this book you'll learn how to: Understand and use love's best-kept secret Deal with the number one enemy of loveTurn headaches into more loveIncrease your energy to keep lovingFind the power to keep on loving your spouseUse normal conflicts as doorways to intimacy Read a woman's built-in marriage manual twelve waysDivorce-proof your marriage Develop the five vital signs of a healthy marriageRespond to your partner's number one requestFind the powerful secret to great loveBring out the best in your maddening mate

With humor, empathy, and insight, Gary Smalley inspires you to fall in love with life and enjoy the deep satisfaction of a lifelong love. Down-to-earth examples, touching personal experiences, and inspiring spiritual principles will motivate you to bring about positive changes in your marriage-whether or not your mate is a willing participant. You'll learn how to tap resources at hand to help you follow through with your journey-and make your love last forever.

FROM THE CRITICS

Publishers Weekly