Child psychologists Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein are too humble to promise a "sure bet" method for fostering resilience in all children, but their book Raising Resilient Children certainly does an impressive job of upping the ante. The authors open their comprehensive study with two bold questions: Why do many parents insist on pointing out their child's weaknesses and try--in vain--to mend these, when harnessing the child's strengths bolsters self-esteem? And how can parents change their erring ways to help these kids become thoughtful, confident adults? Their answer is a wisely crafted set of 10 essential parenting behaviors ("guideposts")--a prescription of sorts, for nurturing resilience in kids. Ironically, it's the parents who may reap the greatest rewards from putting these guideposts to work.

Drawing heavily from 50 years of combined clinical practice, Brooks and Goldstein conclude that a child's resilience grows its deepest roots in the home, nurtured by parents who incorporate healthy doses of empathy, practical optimism, respect, unconditional love, keen listening skills, and the patience to administer these values every day. Sounds logical, but the gap between knowledge and action is deceptively wide. The authors knowingly share a caseload of tales from their own clients' histories--familiar scenarios of well-meaning parents who say and do counterproductive things. But they also present a treasury of suggestions for righting the wrongs, including detailed steps for rewriting negative parenting scripts, teaching and modeling empathy, and creating opportunities for kids to act responsibly and compassionately. This timely, insightful book will prove an effective tool for parents who are willing to scrutinize--and improve upon--their own resilience. --Liane Thomas


From Publishers Weekly
In this practical handbook for parents, clinical psychologists Brooks and Goldstein draw on their considerable experience working with children and families to demonstrate that parents' core goal should be to instill in their children a sense of inner recourse. "A resilient child is an emotionally healthy child, equipped to successfully confront challenges and bounce back from setbacks," they contend, and to this end they provide 10 parenting "guideposts" for nurturing the kind of resilience that helps children thrive. From being empathic, to teaching problem-solving, to identifying "islands of competence" in order to help a child experience success, to editing and eliminating what the authors call "negative scripts" (what parents hear themselves saying and doing repeatedly, "with negligible beneficial results"), the guideposts are clearly delineated, first outlined in the introductory chapter and then expanded in individual chapters. In "Accepting Our Children for Who They Are," for instance, the authors discuss important abstractions--mapping out different personality types in children, addressing parental fears of being "mismatched" with their children--and then pack a practical punch with "Four Steps to Developing an Accepting Mindset with Your Child." An abundance of real-life examples encountered in the authors' own practices further helps to unite principle and theory with action, and while the subject-specific chapters encourage browsing, the down-to-earth strategies ensure that this title will be used as well as read. Though the book's straightforward, collaborative "we" yields a slightly lackluster voice, ultimately it doesn't impede the transmission of this truly valuable material. Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.


From Library Journal
What's the difference between an irresponsible underachiever and a kid who bounces back after each setback and keeps on trying? It's the ability to be resilient, say Brooks (Harvard Medical Sch.) and Goldstein (Univ. of Utah; Overcoming Underachieving: An Action Guide to Helping Your Child Succeed in School) in this very important work. Resilience is the "capacity to cope and feel competent." In over 300 pages, packed with stories and anecdotes, the authors examine what makes a difference in kids' lives and how parents can change to get the results they want. Within each chapter, information is organized according to "Myths of...," "Steps to...," "Obstacles in...," and "Principles of...." The authors reject the blank-slate theory of childhood personality; rather, they claim that all children are not equal at birth and must be treated differently. They also argue that parents must change what they do with their children in order to turn unsuccessful "negative scripts" into positive experiences. This not-to-be-missed book debunks the old paradigm ("Good enough for me; I turned out OK") and replaces it with a new model fostering resilience capable of meeting obstacles head-on. Recommended for all parenting collections. Linda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, PA Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.


From Booklist
In 50 years of clinical psychology experience, Brooks and Goldstein witnessed the essential importance of resilience in helping children to cope. Here, they synthesize research on children's coping skills; define and describe resilience (the capacity to cope and feel competent); and offer specific strategies for nurturing resilience in children. They use case studies and research to show children dealing with loss and trauma in many situations, such as snubs by friends and divorced parents. The authors list and examine in-depth 10 guideposts that help parents form the foundation of resilient youth, including being empathetic, communicating effectively and listening actively, and changing "negative scripts." The premise is that parents can't change the world, but they can help their children cope. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved


From Book News, Inc.
This wire-bound resource provides a nine-session curriculum for parent education programs. Chapters in the manual and a corresponding video cover seven key guidelines for raising children who are emotionally prepared to face challenges and setbacks. Examples and in-class and at-home activities help parents recognize the role they play in their children's emotional health. Goldstein teaches at the University of Utah and works at the Neurology, Learning and Behavior Center; Brooks teaches at Harvard Medical School. There is no subject index.Copyright © 2004 Book News, Inc., Portland, OR

FROM THE PUBLISHER

Top child psychologists offer expert insight and practical advice for raising strong kids in today's complicated world

SYNOPSIS

Effective, proven advice for raising strong kids

"A uniquely wise guide for parents. Brooks and Goldstein help mothers and fathers to focus on their child's strengths, not on his or her weaknesses. The result is a happier, more resilient child. This book could really make a difference in the life of a family."
—Michael Thompson, author of Raising Cain

"Obviously written by talented therapists, Raising Resilient Children is such a well-written, easy-to-read, and helpful book for parents."
—T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., author of The Irreducible Needs of Children

In this seminal parenting work, renowned psychologists Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein explain why some kids are able to overcome overwhelming obstacles while others become victims of early experiences and environments. From this research they have developed effective strategies you can add to your parenting practice to prepare your children for the challenges of today's complicated, ever-changing world.

FROM THE CRITICS

Library Journal

A very important work. This not-to-be-missed book debunks the paradigm ('Good enough for me: I turned out OK') and replaces it with a new model fostering resilience capable of meeting obstacles head-on.

Publishers Weekly

. . the down-to-earth strategies ensure this title will be used as well as read . . . truly valuable material.

Work and Family Life

...a remarkable book that pulls together the research on resilience and makes it readable, understandable, and practical.

Michael Thompson

. . . help mothers and fathers to focus on their child's strengths, not on his or her weaknesses . . .

Edward Hallowell

. . . is both inspiring and practical. As both a parent and a child psychiatrist, I highly recommend this book . . . superb. Read all 13 "From The Critics" >

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING

William Pollack