From Publishers Weekly
Geared for the reported 3.5 million evangelical Christian singles in America, this guide by Cloud-author of the bestselling Boundaries series of relationship books-offers sound advice on the dating game. Some of his tenets may take Christian readers by surprise: he asserts, for example, that there's no one Mr. or Ms. Right for each person, and that people should stop waiting around for a dream individual to sweep them off their feet. ("God guides and provides," Cloud states, "but he also requires us to do our part.") He also asserts that dating is not just a precursor to marriage, disagreeing with those Christians who refuse to date unless they glimpse a tiered wedding cake at the end of the rainbow. Non-serious dating, Cloud writes, is an essential step in the process of eventually finding a mate, because it teaches people what they need and want through trial and error. Cloud unveils a whole program for "getting out there" in the dating world: singles should keep a log of all the eligible people they meet; go places where other singles go (Cloud calls this "changing your traffic pattern"); consider joining a dating service; and forget the "love at first sight" myth. He even suggests dating non-Christians-which will raise some evangelical eyebrows-while repeating his proviso that dating is not marriage. Most of the book's examples are of women seeking men, but all Christian singles can benefit from this practical, down-to-earth manual. Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Book Description
In this book, Dr. Henry Cloud gets to the heart of the issues dating raises for many readers and gets them on the road to fun and fulfillment in the single life.

From the Back Cover
Another Friday Night Alone It stinks, doesn’t it. But what can you do to fix it? More than you’ve ever imagined. You can put an end to the datelessness. Starting today—right now—you can begin a journey that will bring fun, interesting people into your life, broaden your experience of others and yourself, and lead you toward that date of all dates—a date worth keeping. This book is for YOU if • You want to get more dates or better dates. • You wonder where "the good ones" are. • You keep repeating the same old cycle in your dating life and want to change it. • You wonder why people who aren’t as nice as you get all the dates. • You’re attracted to the wrong kind, while the right kind lack the "chemistry." • You’re waiting for God to bring you the right person—and you’ve been waiting an awfully long time. • You wonder what it is about you that fails to attract dates. Based on over ten years of personally coaching singles on dating, Dr. Henry Cloud shares his proven, very doable, step-by-step approach to overcoming your sticking points and getting all the dates you could want. The results speak for themselves. Filled with true-life examples you’ll identify with instantly, How to Get a Date Worth Keeping will prove its worth to you many times over in the exciting months ahead.

About the Author
Dr. Henry Cloud is a popular speaker, and cohost, with Dr. John Townsend, of the nationally broadcast New Life Live! Radio program, and cofounder of Cloud-Townsend Clinic and Cloud-Townsend Resources. His bestselling books include the Gold Medallion Award-winning Boundaries books and Making Small Groups Work. Dr. Cloud and his wife and two daughters live in Southern California.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Some names have been changed in this book
to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.
How to Get a Date Worth Keeping
Copyright © 2005 by Henry Cloud
This title is also available as a Zondervan audio product.
Visit www.zondervan.com/audiopages for more information.
Requests for information should be addressed to:
Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Cloud, Henry
How to get a date worth keeping / Henry Cloud1st ed.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and indexes.
ISBN 0-310-26265-8
1. Single peopleReligious life. 2. Single peopleConduct of life. 3. Dating
(Social customs)Religious aspectsChristianity. 4. Man-woman
relationshipsReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.
BV4596.S5C59 2004
241.6765dc22
2004024106
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible:
New International Version. NIV. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International
Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
The website addresses recommended throughout this book are offered as a resource to
you. These websites are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement on the
part of Zondervan, nor do we vouch for their content for the life of this book.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval
system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy,
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Published in association with Yates & Yates, LLP, Attorneys and Counselors, Suite
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Interior design by Michelle Espinoza
Printed in the United States of America
05 06 07 08 09 10 11 /? DCI/ 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Why Hasnt God Brought
Me the Love of My Life?
The evening began routinely enough. The team producing my
weekend seminar in Cincinnati and I were out to dinner. We discussed
lighthearted things as we ordered our meal. It was more a
moment to stop and catch our breath than to have life-altering discussions.
Little did anyone know what was about to take place.
I never thought Id be doing what Im doing now at this point
in my life, Lillie said, innocently talking about her work.
What do you mean? I asked.
Well, I always thought I would be married and have children
by now.
Oh, I thought to myself. That makes sense. A lot of women feel
that in their mid-thirties. I understood what she was saying, until
she continued.
But God hasnt chosen that for me.
My ears perked up. I wondered what she meant. While I believe
that God leads us and guides us in life, I also wondered why she
blamed her situation on God. Both the psychologist and the theologian
in me bristled, wondering what responsibility she might be
shirking regarding her undesired singleness. I knew her well enough
to know she might have some issues contributing to her single state.
What do you mean, God hasnt chosen that? I asked.
Well, I believe God brings the man into your life you are to
marry, and he hasnt brought that man to me yet, she replied. That
was enough to get me going, but her next line really did it. Or, he
hasnt given me the feelings I would need for the men he has
brought into my life.
God hasnt given you the feelings? What does that mean?
Well, God gives you the feelings for the person he wants you
to marry, and that hasnt happened with any of the men I know.
Whose feelings are theyyours or Gods?
What do you mean? she asked, sounding a little bugged.
Well, it just sounds like you blame God for a lot. How do you
know he hasnt brought ten great men into your life, but you have
things inside of you that make you incapable of feeling what you
would need to feel for them? How do you know your issues arent
getting in the way of recognizing and falling in love with a good man
if he did come along? Why do you just assume this is Gods fault?
I felt as though I was on a bit of a mission, defending Gods honor.
I disagree. God will bring the right man to me, and until then,
I just need to wait.
How is that going?
What do you mean?
Well, how long has it been since you went on a date?
She hesitated, looking embarrassed. I didnt mean to put her on
the spot; in fact, she had been so assertive in stating her case and so
aggressive in coming after me when I challenged it that her sheepishness
caught me off guard.
Two years, she said.
What?
It has been two years since I have been on a date, she confessed.
How could that be, I wondered. She was outgoing and attractive,
a real people person of the highest ordertraits that usually
make dating come easily. Then it occurred to me. Her lack of dates
had to be a combination of her sitting back and waiting for the man
of her dreams to come and find her and some personal dynamics
interfering with her desire to be married. I could think of no other
reason someone who actually wanted to have a man in her life
would be that stuck.
Then something changed in me. Up until that point, Lillie and
I had been in a friendly debate. Everyone at the table had gotten
caught up in the banter. But, when I saw the reality of the situation
an attractive young woman in the prime of her life, yet unhappyI
felt for her. I wanted to help. And if I were right, I knew I could. So,
I issued a challenge:
I will make you a deal, Lillie. I will be your dating coach. I
guarantee that if you will do whatever I tell you, you will be dating
in six months.
She looked at me, stunned. What?
Just what I said. Ill be your dating coach, and if you will do
whatever I say, I guarantee youll be dating in six months. But there
is a catch. I demand total obedience. You have to do everything I tell
you, no questions asked. And I promise I will not ask you to do
anything immoral, unethical, or illegal. But you have to do whatever
I tell you.
Everyone at the table fell silent. I could see the others wondering
whether or not they would subject themselves to such a mystery
challenge. And I could see Lillie weighing the same thing. Did she
really want to do such a crazy thing? Agree to conform to a totally
unknown plan, just like that? I could also see that she was ticked at
my challenging her way of thinking about dating. She wanted to
accept the bet and prove me wrong. The latter attitude, I suspect,
is what won out.
With the others hanging in suspense, she growled at me: Fine.
Youre on.
I didnt really think shed accept my challenge, but I was ready.
I jumped right into it.
Okay, here is your first assignment. For one month I want you
to keep a log of all the new men you meet and email it to me at the
end of every week. Send me the names so we can count how many
new men come into your life and have a chance to ask you out.
Are you joking? she said. I dont need an assignment for that.
I can tell you right now. None.
What do you mean, None? I asked.
Exactly that. I never meet anyone new. Every day I go to the
office and see the same six or eight people. Then I go home, eat dinner,
and watch TV with my roommate. Then on Saturday, I run
errands and hang out, and on Sunday I go to the same church and
see the same people I always see. That is what happens every week.
I never meet any new men to go out with.
I dont care. I still want you to keep a log. And for the men to
count, they have to fulfill three requirements. First, they have to be
new men youve never met before. Second, they have to have
enough of an interaction with you to want to ask you out. And,
third, they have to have enough information to ask you out, such
as your name or know how to find you. No pressure to have any
dates right now. I just want to understand your situation. If the
number is zero, thats fine. We can work with that. I just need to
know what the picture really looks like.

FROM THE PUBLISHER