A breakup, divorce, or loss of a loved one isn't just the end of your relationship with that person. It's a continuation of every feeling of abandonment you've ever suffered. It's the loss of a system of approval you'd come to depend on. The struggle, as Gray points out in Starting Over, isn't just to find a new partner, but to get over those feelings of abandonment or loss or anger or whatever else gets dredged up by the end of a relationship.

Perhaps the book's most crucial chapter posits that the best way to get over the loss of love is to focus on the "love" more than the "loss." That may seem impossible, especially if the bum took off with your best friend, your life savings, and your Lyle Lovett CDs, but Gray didn't get to be a household name because the advice in his Venus and Mars books doesn't work. Remembering only the bad parts, Gray says, leaves you with an important part of your emotional being closed to new business.

As for the Venus and Mars stuff, that comes in the second half of the book, when Gray looks at how men and women start new relationships from different points of view, with different priorities (a man might want to have fun with no strings attached; a woman might carry with her a lengthy list of requirements for her next partner, a list that excludes virtually all available men).

If you've never read Gray's work before, you have to be prepared to check your cynicism at the door. This is earnest stuff, but it's also based on decades of experience counseling clients. He's not one of those photogenic, nine-times-divorced shrinklets who's telling you how to conduct your relationships without any real clue of what makes love last. This is the real package: nothing glib, nothing quick and easy, nothing you could've figured out from a "Love Is..." cartoon.


Book Description

There's nothing more devastating than the loneliness that comes with a breakup, divorce, or the loss of a loved one.But even though it feels like the end of the world, you will survive -- and you will love again. John Gray's bestselling books about the Venus and Mars factor have helped millions of men and women develop better relationships. Now in Mars and Venus Starting Over, his gentle guidance, compassionate wisdom, and healing practices will help you feel whole again after a relationship ends.

With warmth and insight, John Gray shows that, while the process of healing is similar on Mars and Venus, there are distinct differences between the ways men and women heal their bruised hearts. Here he offers people of both sexes specific advice for how to deal with pain, find forgiveness, discover the strength to let go, rebuild confidence, and rise to the challenge of finding fulfillment again.

Mars and Venus Starting Over is a gift of love, a light in the darkness of your grief. Even if you're new to the Venus and Mars philosophy, you can trust John Gray to steer you through this difficult time and turn a painful ending into a joyous new beginning.


About the Author
John Gray, Ph.D., an internationally recognized expert in the fields of communication and relationships, and the author of twelve bestsellers, has been conducting personal-growth seminars for thirty years.He is a Certified Family Therapist (National Academy for Certified Family Therapists), a consulting editor of the Family Journal, a member of the Distinguished Advisory Board of the international Association of Marriage and Family Counselors, and a member of the American Counseling Association.John lives with his wife and three children in Northern California.

FROM OUR EDITORS

Breakups punctuate our lives. Learning to get beyond the devastation of a broken heart is the subject of this lucid and realistic book. Gray's descriptions of how men and women respond differently to the loss of a love may not be true of everybody, but these gender generalities will help some readers recognize potential pitfalls. Memorable advice about getting to the next chapter of your life.

FROM THE PUBLISHER

There's nothing more devastating than the loneliness that comes with a breakup, divorce, or the loss of a loved one. But even though it feels like the end of the world, you will survive — and you will love again. John Gray's bestselling books about the Venus and Mars factor have helped millions of men and women develop better relationships. Now in Mars and Venus Starting Over, his gentle guidance, compassionate wisdom, and healing practices will help you feel whole again after a relationship ends.

With warmth and insight, John Gray shows that, while the process of healing is similar on Mars and Venus, there are distinct differences between the ways men and women heal their bruised hearts. Here he offers people of both sexes specific advice for how to deal with pain, find forgiveness, discover the strength to let go, rebuild confidence, and rise to the challenge of finding fulfillment again.

Mars and Venus Starting Over is a gift of love, a light in the darkness of your grief. Even if you're new to the Venus and Mars philosophy, you can trust John Gray to steer you through this difficult time and turn a painful ending into a joyous new beginning.

About the Author

John Gray, Ph.D., an internationally recognized expert in the fields of communication and relationships, and the author of twelve bestsellers, has been conducting personal-growth seminars for thirty years. He is a Certified Family Therapist (National Academy for Certified Family Therapists), a consulting editor of the Family Journal, a member of the Distinguished Advisory Board of the international Association of Marriage and Family Counselors, and a member ofthe American Counseling Association. John lives with his wife and three children in Northern California.

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