FROM THE PUBLISHER

A compelling new study reveals the true effects of divorce

An astonishing one quarter of adults between the ages of eighteen and thirty-five have grown up in divorced families. Now, as this generation comes of age, Between Two Worlds will speak to them like no other book.

Elizabeth Marquardt (together with sociologist Norval Glenn) conducted a pioneering new national study of the children of divorce, surveying 1,500 young adults from both divorced and intact families and interviewing more than seventy of them at length. In Between Two Worlds, she weaves the findings of that study together with powerful, unsentimental stories of the childhoods of young people from divorced families--as well as her own story of growing up as a child of divorce. She asks us to acknowledge that children are profoundly shaped by divorce, even though, as adults, they might be accomplished and seem "fine." While many experts maintain that there are "good divorces," praise the idea of "blended families," and assure divorced parents that kids are resilient, Marquardt calls this "happy talk" and warns that it causes children to bury their real feelings.

The hard truth, she says, is that while divorce is sometimes necessary, there is no such thing as a good divorce. An amicable divorce is certainly better than a bitter one, but even amicable divorces sow lasting inner conflict in the lives of children. When a family breaks in two, children who stay in touch with both parents must travel between two worlds, trying alone to reconcile their parents' often strikingly different beliefs, values, and ways of living. Even a "good divorce" restructures childhood itself.

Not surprisingly,many children of divorce seem like old souls. Often they feel like they have a different identity in each of their parents' worlds. Secrets are epidemic. Home feels less safe, and they are far less likely than the children of intact marriages to go to their parents for comfort or emotional support. Some question their parents' morality and choices. Like their peers from intact families, they long for spirituality, but their feelings of loss, mistrust, and anger toward their parents deeply complicate their spiritual journeys--even translating into anger at God.

Marquardt's data is undeniably compelling, but at the heart of her book are stories--of reunions with one parent that were always partings from the other, of struggles to adapt to a parent's moods, of the burden of having to figure out the important questions in life alone. Authoritative, beautifully written, and filled with brave, sad, unflinchingly honest voices, Between Two Worlds is a book of transforming power for the adult children of divorce, whose real experiences have for too long gone unrecognized.

Based on a pioneering new study, Between Two Worlds is a book of transforming power for anyone who grew up with divorced parents.

After the divorce, our parents may no longer have been in conflict, but the conflict between their worlds was still alive. Yet instead of being in the open, visible to outsiders, the conflict between their worlds migrated and took root within us. When we sought our own identities--when we asked "Who am I?"--we were confronted with two wholly separate ways of living. Any answer we gleaned from one world could be undermined by looking at the other. Being too much like Dad could threaten the Mom-self inside us, and vice versa. These conflicts were not raised in conversation with or between our parents, or with anybody else, but internally. We were one in our bodies but we did not feel one inside. Even the "good divorce" left us struggling with divided selves. --from Between Two Worlds

FROM THE CRITICS

Publishers Weekly

There's no such thing as a "good divorce," argues Marquardt, a scholar with the Institute for American Values. Divorce harms children for the rest of their lives, she says; it turns them into "little adults" who anxiously protect their fragile parents, instead of being protected, the way they are in "intact" families. Divorce forces children to guard parental secrets-protecting Mom by not telling Dad, or vice versa. At increased risk from pedophilic attacks (from their mothers' boyfriends or new husbands) and substance abuse, "children of divorce" may also feel alienated from organized religion, although Marquardt's survey finds them more likely to feel their spirituality strengthened by adversity. Marquardt says she's based her book on her own experiences as a child of divorce and on the results of a "nationally representative survey," yet her own bias strongly colors this work. Intact-family envy-the kids with parents sit in the front pews at church, while the children of divorce sit alone in the back, eyeing them; a 20-something Marquardt "sobbing" as she tries to decide which of her divorced parents will walk her down the wedding aisle-permeates this feisty tract. Agent, Carol Mann. (On sale Sept. 27) Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.

Library Journal

Marquardt, an affiliate scholar at the Institute for American Values, conducted a survey of 1500 young adults to determine how children grow up in divorced households vs. intact ones. Using the results of that survey (which she conducted in consultation with sociologist Norval Glenn, professor at the University of Texas, Austin), plus her personal experiences as a child of divorce, Marquardt certainly achieves her first goal of contributing to the literature on the effects of divorce-particularly in children's moral and spiritual development. Appendixes reproduce the survey along with the results of each question; interviews with 70 young people supplemented the survey. The book's weakness is Marquardt's obvious personal bias. In her concluding chapter, and in fact throughout the text, she suggests that strong marriages are the answer to young people's needs. While few would disagree with this concept, it represents a largely unattainable ideal for society. Marquardt's viewpoint, however, is valuable to the dialog on the effects of divorce, which recommends this book to most public and academic libraries to supplement the likes of Judith Wallerstein's The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce.-Kay Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, MD Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.